pumpkin soup

the lights are on and someone's home

i'm not sure if they're alone

there's someone else inside my head

living there too fills me with dread

this paranoia is distressing

and i spend most of my nights guessing

are we not, are we together?

will this make our lives much better?

all dressed up for

i pack my suit in a bag

i'm all dressed up for prague

i'm all dressed up with you

all dressed up for him too

prepare myself for a war

before i even open up my door

before i even look out

i'm pissing all of my bullets about

bittersweet adeline

it's a picture perfect evening and i'm staring down the sun

fully loaded, deaf and dumb and done

waiting for sedation to disconnect my head

or any situation where i'm

better off than dead

i saddled up my pony right

"and if you think i've gone too long

listen the sky will sing this song

as it burns up all the memories

that flow like water out of me."

rainy town

"i'm sentimental so i walk in the rain

i've got some habits even i can't explain

i go to the corner, and i end up in spain

why try to change me now?

i sit and daydream, i got daydreams galore

cigarette ashes

there they go on the floor

go away weekends

leave my keys in the door

why try to change me now?

why can't i be more conventional?

people talk, and they stare

so i try

but that can't be, cuz i can't see

my strange little world just go passing me by

let people wonder, let 'em laugh let 'em frown

you know i love you

'til the moon's upside down

don't you remember?

i was always your clown

why try to change me now?"

everything worn is/was free:

clown skin dimbula(?) rose lucky board

new hair from BC322 lucky board exclusive pink color (ty hempy)

dilly dolls lexia parasol white

momo previous group gift dress in, you guessed it, pink.

shot at creamshop/rainy town

rabbit in yr headlights

"the only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of life, your memories, your attachments. they burn them all away. but they're not punishing you. they're freeing you of your soul. so, if you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. but if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the earth."

cheap:

whippet & buck bustier in black discounted fatpack at some point

ferdinand tattoo from [TH] the habitat from 50L friday i believe

free:

com des inspired easter bunny hat old gift(?) from (royal blue)

mynerva geekgasm hunt gift skin & shape & lashes

tekuteku soap hair in mint current group gift

atomic leggings from previous group gift

surf couture black flats previous group gift

miasnow eyes gift or hunt prize

shot at nodari mainstore

here comes the fear

it's almost my birthday again. call it serendipity, i did a unicorn post my last birthday... here i am in another unicorny moment. linked the unicorns last birthday post as well, i'll use a different song this year. i dunno if i'm a sea ghost really, probably more like a land ghost, but definitely ghosting out. i shot this aimed up at the sky because the background in the sim wasnt working for me, did one processing tweak in picnik and i really like how blazingly bright but at the same time muted it turned out.

worn: illusions unicorn horn, miel necklace previous 50L friday item, leezu pants, cupcakes swimsuit/bra top previous easter hunt gift, imabee skin previous group gift, exile freebie hair kyanna in harlow blonde, plastik blind prim eye previous gift of some sort.

rose tinted glasses

lost in the pixel flowers again

there's no home for me here...go away.

worn: lamb hair, acid & mala leggings, /me mouthtag, shampoo bead necklace, glam affair skin

"

i'd like to think that all of this constant interaction is just the kind to make you drive yourself away. each simple gesture done by me is counteracted and leaves me standing here with nothing else to say. completely baffled by a backward indication that an inspired word will come across your tongue. hands moving upward to propel the situation have simply halted and now the conversation's done.

...

i'm only waiting for the proper time to tell you that it's impossible to get along with you. it's hard to look you in the face when we are talking so it helps to have a mirror in the room. i've not been really looking forward to the performance but there's my cue and there's a question on your face. fortunately i have come across an answer which is go away and do not leave a trace.

"

april showers

bring may flowers.

i love scribble.

this jumper makes me excited for springs arrival in a way that hadn't even hit me yet irl.

...this is the definition of my life

lying in bed in the sunlight

choking on the vitamin tablet the doctor gave in the hope of saving me

in the hope of saving me

walked in the corner of the room

a junkyard fool with eyes of gloom

i asked him time again

take me in and dry the rain...

("it's good."..."i know.")

worn: scribble april showers jumper exclusive to the spring bazaar, fuel coco hair in blonde, tyranny skin, sanu tiny little mouth flower hunt gift from the spring bazaar, vive9 eyes from previous freebie bag bonanza

hysterical coloUrblindness

having long since given up on the humans in second, not to mention first life, most of what i do in world is stand around lucky chairs sorting my hoardings. i know every fashionista can relate to the feeling of having "just one more folder" to sort before you log, pee, drink, or leave to do something else. which easily results in hours spent just..staring at a tee shirt waiting for the texture to rez. i have taken my sorting cues from miss radio who is very wise, and has her stuff arranged by colo(u)rs. staring at the monitor at 4 am trying to discern if a tee shirt qualifies as blue or purple or brown or white or grey or black has become my biggest complaint. ask ban, ask tazzy, i have been known to rant in twelve dozen offline messages about how my eyes are bleeding because i can't pick between the pink or purple folder for a piece of pixel clothing. i'm beginning to think there are cultural and personal distinctions in color perceptions....one persons blue is anothers purple. white actually means beige to some people. grey is good enough to be black for most. me? i'm anal. i would never deny the fact. at the end of the night at least i can laugh at myself for actively becoming annoyed at color conflicts in my sorting. and anyway, you can always just tint yr pics in picnik to be any hue of the rainbow. this post is just as meaningless as the distinctions in color labeling. yay!

so, while the picture here looks like what *I* would call beige or brown, the clothes in world are actually all white. yay! absence of color. one of the easier to decide upon folders for.

worn: oyakin group gift skirt, ohmai tube bra, tiny bird sleepless hair, lara skin, fairytail bracelet, epoque/mpb the white rose necklace

relevant, per "sleepless"

new york new york

i won't go back

indelible reminder of the steel i lack

i gave you seven years

what did you give me back?

a jaw-grind disposition to a panic attack

worn: cupcakes summer shorts, twosome tee, katat0nik hair, imabee skin group gift, glow studio tears, rc cluster hanky, a.y.y. chucks camping prize (in like 8 colors too), pig mit suspenders 50L friday item

[...this is like a youtube response video, except i'm responding to miss jennywrenling's Closet Explosion blog and her recent posts, first with an old soul coughing song and more recently with settings from new york city.]

i'm a lucky man

happiness, more or less
it's just a change in me

something in my liberty

happiness, coming and going

i watch you look at me

watch my fever growing

i know just where i am.

worn:

all clothes Ayumi from the new dollarbie store above enkything's, Leafy 50L st. pat's skin, tattoo lucky by GrungeInk, elf ears from Gauged COTB hunt gift, past group gift hair from Tekuteku, Schadenfreude collar previous hunt gift.

walls, 1, (2), and 3

i have officially decided not to even attempt to be second-life relevant in my posts. i do love these new leafy skins though. blushingly adorably smexeh.

...

and all around your island

there's a barricade

it keeps out the danger

it holds in the pain

sometimes you're happy

sometimes you cry

half of me is ocean

half of me is sky

i'm yours*

american idol is making me mainstream...so sad. end of an era, and all that. :(

i never got to post the pics i took with the new smashface/domestic-v group gift skin. i put another love note in my mouth, this one was from the cupids heart hunt. if you notice a trend here, i am 9 years behind in tv trends, 16 months behind on electronic trends, 6 months behind on second life trends, a week or a month behind in posting 'new' second life items, and about two years behind in musical trendiness. according to the psychologist kid from bones, consistent lateness is an unconscious attempt to assert control. i don't know what my point was. maybe that i have a very small brain space for short term memory.

anyway, moar moar moar, love love love, notes notes notes.

it's funny i took these before the previous post, my mind works on the recency effect a lot.

*yours, only applies if your name is ban.

lyrics begin here:

well you done done me and you bet i felt it

i tried to be chill but you're so hot that i melted

i fell right through the cracks

now i'm trying to get back

before the cool done run out

i'll be giving it my bestest

and nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention

i reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

leftover love

i serendipitously discovered my own partners love note nom for me today, in an xmas gift package, because miss tazzy tried to gift me the same thing. i love that when people see a wacky d-lab cat with ao inclusive they automatically think of me. twice. that's real love! anyway, cats aside, this is the tender little mouth food ban made me. love you pooker snookers, schnuckem bums lumpy lums, etc etc ad infinitum. and yes, i respond to okre. even okra. even orca.

this lovely skin is from the leafy lucky chair preview of her new line of skins. it's perfect! hair is a well known favorite Sixty Nine group gift from xmas-ish. eyes are some of the lovely prim brightened ones from Plastik. and the ears are the final tipping point that led me down into the depths of elfdom, i know, it's trendy, but these Schadenfreude plugged elfies are killing me with cute. hud to change skin tone, plug color, and jewelry, anch changes distinct from the piercings even. sooooo much matchy matchy potential perfection. /end rant.

sweet & sour

may i be the first and only person to wish you all a miserable valentines day.

ok i think that about covers it.

this has been another masturbatory exercise in non-thought by a blogger.

xo

...

she eyes me like a pisces when i am weak.

i been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks.

i been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap.

i wish i could eat your cancer when you turn black.

this is not just a fawn

the thing that i enjoy most about pixel shopping in second life is how you can find anything you can imagine, and loads of things you never could have imagined because the ideas didn't come from your brain initially, which consequently makes them original (at least to you, and at least as long as you don't see them pop up three and four times in various ripped off incarnations). the best in second life pixels surely qualify as art.

i usually peruse flickr streams bitching and moaning to myself the whole time about how i should have learned photoshop long ago when i could process all the tricky stuff. one of my favorite things to run across other than amazingly manipulated images are a different and arguably more traditional type of artistry where people draw a sketch and then pixelate it and create it in world with sculpts and prims and textures...they have even been quite good in world, even been quite faithful to the original image. but the sequence of events starting with this picture radio drew and posted on flickr moved at lightning speed, i was really impressed how rapidly she translated a sketched image into the resulting outfit. all artsy fartsy gushing aside, you get to wear spots on your bum! who doesn't like that?

worn:

~Scribble~ Spotty Bum leotard/corset in pink

Illusions horns SAH free hunt gift

Tiny Bird hair Ciao Bella past Haiti Skybox item still in new hairs at mainstore

Titania's Court Faun legs and ears from full avatar set

Belleza Alyson new group gift

Caroline's Jewelry broken scripted pearls

The Habitat Like A Rolling Stone tat past free/dollarbie

paper tiger

a paper tiger can't

tell you where he stands

we'll go back tonight

the way that we came

i'm not dumb, just wanna hold your hand.

worn:

csr niniko coat

csr dpyumyum tiger avi

csr zero style hair in chestnut

my ugly dorothy group gift plant for your head

yeah, most of it's not available anymore [*sticks out blogger tongue*] but the stores all have amazing merch on sale all day everyday anyway.

snarky stopper

i am always excited when i find bizarre and random things for sale on second life. i even wear them once i buy them! go figure. using the drunk ao again and this toilet paper couture from rbcg. with the cupcakes january group gift was apparently too obvious a joke for some ladiez who clearly didn't appreciate the artistry behind sharpie-faced skins and hand drawn toilet paper texturing. i stand by my comment to the humorless womynz that this is honestly how i imagine most second lifers end up on a weekend evening. i know you all keep a real life roll of electrical tape to pastie your boobs too, don't lie!^$%

nothing changes on new year's day.

i have haiti related lyrics but it's gza and it's not particularly nice so i'll just leave that tendency to the side today. other tendencies indulged with the red cross donations/sales items are mouth foods! this red cross tag [buy from Lucky #7 vendor] is one of at least TWO mouth noms i saw in the scribble skybox, which i'm happy to see has blossomed from one room into two since its inception. the mouth tag also comes with a leg/belt thing that hangs at your pocket or wherever you position it, and at 49L it's the perfect charity cheapie. i'm also wearing the 50L H.O.D. To Love Rosary, also a red cross item in the skybox. the dress comes in a set with these cute red cross kneed socks and is yet another haiti relief item you can find at Lark's new mainstore build. after a recent conversation about how i'm always 18 months behind electronic trends it comes as no surprise to myself that i've only finally indulged elfdom and donned some elf ears [buried]. an accumulation of decent freebies necessitated a subsubfolder of its own which subsequently necessitated wearing a pair for once. which actually led to my PURCHASING a pair too, the stumblebum schadenfreude pair to be precise, i hope to use those soon in some hideously bright array. speaking of hideously bright, i found this rainbow on the new sim build for ANA mations, and i figured rainbows could go with red crosses in symbolizing hope. here's hoping that people don't forget about haiti again in 12 months until another 100K people die next time.

*edit-woops i effed up guesstimating a designers stores from profile picks. shortcake sugarplum is the designer of lucky #7! stores not officially open yet but check it out in the meantime! more red cross items here. my bad. all apologies.